


Falling embers

by Erilanya



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 02:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13067508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erilanya/pseuds/Erilanya
Summary: One-shot, for fun. Spoilers ahead, you have been forwarned!Events take place after the death of Snoke and the ensuing battle, up till the end of the movie. POV varies between Rey and Ben. I just tried to flesh out their thoughts and feelings during this trying time. I had to write it off. Quotes from the movie are from memory, so they may not be 100% correct, it's how I remember them. Feel free to comment if you know the correct one!Please enjoy- Erilanya





	Falling embers

Her head was swimming when she came to. Luke's lightsaber, no..her lightsaber lay broken before her.

_Two equal pieces..._

Then her eye fell on him. "Ben.." she whispered. She felt exhausted from the fight and their force showdown right after. Finding her balance, she shuffled over to him. Even though she felt so utterly betrayed by him, she still checked his neck for a pulse. Carefully brushing his hair aside she dared to plant a kiss on his brow, where the scar was.

"Oh Ben, why did you..." She didn't finish that sentence and silently admonished herself for calling him that. The person in front of her wasn't Ben Solo, it was Kylo Ren, the murderous snake, the monster.

Rey needed to convince herself of that most of all, as it was hurting her to leave him behind. The way they had fought together, she had never been in sync like that with another person before, and not just in battle. She remembered the campfire, where he had listened so patiently to her story of the darkside cave. Like friends, maybe more. How they touched hands....That look in his eyes.

  _No, come on, your friends are dying..._

She gathered up the pieces of the lightsaber. Her mind was racing, Snoke wouldn't use common escape pods like everyone else. He had to have a small shuttle somewhere close to his throne room, to make a hasty exit if needed. This type of person, if he could even be called that, always had a plan for self-preservation. Sure enough she found a corridor that gave out on a small hangar with a custom escape pod. There was no security there, nor were any scans or passwords required to start the vessel.

_He was so sure of himself..._

Hubris, Luke's words echoed. How right the old man was. She thought she'd turn him, Ben, how wrong she had been. This whole bond had been a lie, a construction of Snoke's to exploit their weaknesses. Was Ben aware of this? No he couldn't have been, he had seemed so genuinely intrigued by it, surprised by their connection. She had felt his shock as clearly as her own at the revelation.

_Come to think of it, he hasn't lied to me a single time._

Luke had lied to her, or at least omitted the crucial details of his confrontation with Ben. Snoke hadn't lied to her directly, but he was who he was. Even Fin had lied to her, in the very beginning, she understood why, but it was still a lie. The only one that had been truthful up till now was Ben, no matter how cruel that truth was. 

 "You have no place in this story, you're nothing, but not to me..."

The tears were streaming down her cheeks by now, while she punched in the coordinates to where she'd meet with Chewie.

The words should have angered her, but as always he had been brutally honest. She was nobody from Jakku who stumbled into this story that had always been about the Skywalkers and their larger than life legacy. If Luke had taught her one thing, it's that sometimes it's better not to meet your heroes, lest you find out they are just human, and fallible.

She had the burden of not knowing where she came from, who her parents were, but his burden was the opposite. The pressure of having to live up to that name...At least she could grow into anyone she wanted to become. Him? Luke, Leia, Han…the galaxy expected him to fall into their footsteps, destined for greatness. Snoke thought to make a second Vader out of him. It was hard to determine which was worse, but the effect was the same, crushing loneliness.

 "Join me...please?" At that moment all of his bravado had faded as he held out his hand, trembling.

For a second she had been tempted. In a way he was right, what horse did she have in this race? What was her part in this story? Rey understood in a way the argument he tried to make by saying she was nothing. In his own convoluted way he was saying she was free to join him. He had been so eager to blow everything up, the Sith, the Jedi, the first order, everything. To start fresh, with her, no less. Then she thought of Fin, Leia, all the people she met during her short time with the Resistance.

She had looked at the outstretched, gloved, hand in front of her. Something just didn’t feel right.

_This isn’t Ben Solo, it’s Kylo Ren, no good will come of this…_

Automatically her hand had moved to meet his, but then she made the split decision to pull the saber towards her.

What ensued was a tug-of-war through the Force. She felt his anger, his bitter disappointment. To him, he had just been betrayed once more, by someone he loved? Could that be?

Rey wiped her tears before boarding the Falcon. Chewie pulled her into a big bearhug and with renewed resolve they made their way to Crayt.

_I’m coming my friends!_

_\---_

Slowly he lifted his head, he could make out a shape in front of him. It was speaking, but the sound reached his ears distorted, muffled, like if you just hit your head.

It was Hux, he wanted to know what happened to Snoke.

This wasn’t the outcome he had foreseen, he thought to be far away from here by now, with her…

“The girl killed him”

He could sense Hux’s disbelief and he couldn’t blame him. To think she took out him, the mighty Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader and the Praetorian Guard? She was powerful in the Force, but that would been a stretch to believe.

Nevertheless, it was his only option right now. Any other explanation would involve him and it would be treason. He could silence Hux, of course, but he wouldn’t be able to silence the entire First Order, who would have questions about their General. In the Sith glory days it was normal for an apprentice to grab power by killing their master. Those days were over however and how much he hated to admit it, it was Hux’s army, and Hux knew it.

Ren was deep in thought when he heard the him prattle on about the Supreme Leader being dead and did he just challenge his authority? The calm he had felt these last days was fading rapidly. His entire vision of the future was gone. Her, the Scavenger…Rey….had gone.

He felt the Force flow through him, wrapping itself around the General’s neck. How different it felt, from the mellow currents he enjoyed between him and her, to the raw, jagged stream that coursed through his body now.

“Long live the Supreme Leader” Armitage Hux managed to utter.

Kylo ordered them to attack the Rebel base on Crayt. While his ship descended, he had some time to think

“You are nothing…”

He had felt the pang of embarrassment in her, realizing how his words affected her. Empathy had been an emotion long forgotten and it would take some adjustment. She was hurt. He felt her retreat from their bond and he felt his own despair grow.

“but not to me…Join me…..please…”

Vulnerable, he couldn’t remember the last time he had been so unguarded around anyone, but it was too late, and he could sense it. While her hand was moving towards his, he could feel her shift away from him even further. Guilt, frustration and when she tried to pull the lightsaber, betrayal.

When the ship was being torn apart, he lost consciousness.

Right now his anger was still growing, mixed in with guilt for failing so completely. He remembered the first time their hands touched. She was the brave one, stretching out her hand towards him, not sure what to expect. Such an act deserved an appropriate response. He took his glove off and they touched.

He loved her in that moment and now all was lost. Despite himself he was trying to reach out through the Force. Would he ever hear her whisper his name softly again? Like she had in the elevator. How certain they both were, that the other would turn, and then they fought the Pretorian Guard together. When she felt overwhelmed her hand slipped onto his thigh. He felt her weight press onto his back and swiftly he thrusted her into the guards, so she could kick them with more power. Even if Snoke was right about bridging their minds, the rest of it was purely them. To fight so well together, for the first time.

_And then she threw her saber at me…to save me…_

His spirit had already been torn, but somehow being near her, his pain felt subdued. Now Rey was lost to him, due to his own fault. There it was again, the overwhelming loneliness.

She was holding on to people she barely knew, putting all that they could have together on the line for them.

In mean while the First Order was advancing on the Rebel base. Pathetic, they sent a few squadrons of rickety fighters out to meet them. In any case they sent out some Tie fighters none the less.

There it was again, that presence, that accursed ship…

He ordered all the fighters to follow and destroy that ship. As if she wasn’t enough of distraction, he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw him. Luke Skywalker had the gall of turning up here.

The anger was overwhelming, he was still standing, after every gun under his command had been fired at him. So he went to confront Skywalker in person. He seemed to foster the hope that she was the last Jedi.

“I will destroy the girl too.”

Seems his uncle managed to outsmart him one last time and by the time he realized it, the Rebels were long gone. He ordered his accompanying troopers to leave him and he heard them ransacking the base for any clues of their next destination or survivors.

It was getting increasingly harder to keep up being Kylo Ren. He sank to his knees and his eye fell on his father’s golden dice, which he picked up gently, only to have them disappear shortly after.

As if that wasn’t enough, he felt the familiar soft whoosh of the force bond with...

_Her…_

His anger melted and in that moment he felt like the boy who’s uncle stood over him with a lit lightsaber.

She didn’t look at him harshly, it wasn’t the same look as in the forest, this was potentially worse. It was disappointment mixed with guilt and yearning.

All he was able to do is look at her, with such hunger, as he knew this would probably be the last time they saw eachother like this. Then she was gone and he cast his eyes down. What happened now was up in the air. Technically this was a victory for the First Order. The Rebellion had been effectively decimated. The only ones left were on the Falcon.

He heard footsteps appear and he forced himself to stand up, be Kylo Ren, strong and merciless. The future was murky and part of him feared it. However, a small part, a very small part had a flicker of hope. The bond had established itself again, against all expectations.


End file.
